Dating can be stressful but first dates can be particularly painful and nerve wrecking. Follow my simple tips to getting ready for a date and before you know it you’ll be breezing through first dates with you’re only concern being what to wear on your second date.

1. Don’t stress!

First of all, try not to stress yourself out. Tell yourself, it’s only a date and if it doesn’t work out, so what?

2. Easy on the wedding plans

You may laugh but don’t start planning your wedding! We’ve all been there; dreaming that this could be the one, that you’ll fall in love after a whirlwind romance and get married… and all before you’ve ordered your starter! Obviously, it’s good to be positive but just take each day as it comes in the early stages otherwise you could be heading for disappointment.

3. Listen to music

Listen to some music whilst you’re getting ready; whatever gets you in the mood for a night out and relaxes you.

4. Soak in a bath

If you have time, take a long soak in the bath with a small glass of wine to relax you. I emphasise the word “small”; you don’t want to turn up drunk or smelling of alcohol.

5. Subtle make-up

Girls, try to keep your make-up subtle. The majority of men don’t like to see make-up caked on and if you do happen to snuggle up to your date, he won’t be too impressed if you leave make-up on his collar. As a basic rule, if you’re going for smoky eyes, keep your lips natural with a lick of gloss and if you’re opting for the red Monroe pout then keep your eyes natural.

6. Hair to go

You don’t want a high maintenance hair style that has you running to the toilet every two minutes to check it’s in place so stick to what you know suits you and what you feel comfortable with. Also, easy on the hair products in case your date decides to run his fingers through your hair and gets them stuck!

7. What to wear?

Don’t wear anything too revealing on a first date as it could give out the wrong impression. Remember you can still look sexy without revealing all your goods; less is more!

Decide what you’re going to wear in advance so you’re not in a last minute panic with a bedroom floor covered in reject outfits. The main thing is to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing so you look relaxed; fidgeting with straps and pulling down your hemline every few minutes doesn’t look good.

Your choice of outfit will obviously depend on where you are going; if it’s fancy restaurant then you can glam it up but if it’s a lunchtime date or the cinema then dress it down accordingly.

8. Killer heels or comfy flats?

As for shoes, heels look great but only if you can walk in them so only wear shoes that you are comfortable in. Also, don’t wear new shoes in case you get blisters on the night. Again, your choice of shoes will depend on where you are going so dress for the venue.

9. Fresh breath

Don’t forget to clean your teeth and rinse with a mouthwash. It may sound obvious but so many people forget. Also, keep a packet of mints or chewing gum in your bag in case you need to freshen up later.

10. Aroma, aroma!

Once you’re ready, don’t forget to squirt a bit of your favourite perfume behind the ears and on your wrist (these are the strongest pulse points). Don’t go overboard, the key is to have an aroma about you, not to overpower him with your scent.

11. Arrange transport

Book a taxi or arrange for someone to give you a lift so you get to your meeting place in plenty of time. I wouldn’t advise accepting any offer to pick you up or take you home until you’ve got to know him.

12. Keep the conversation flowing

Give some thought to what you’re going to talk about. Obviously, you can’t plan it word for word but think about things you want to find out about him and questions you could ask to keep the conversation flowing. If you know a good joke, it’s always good to throw that in at some point in the evening to lighten the mood.

13. A kiss goodnight – no more!

Don’t feel pressured into going back to his place or inviting him into yours and certainly don’t feel pressured into having sex! I think it’s best to end the evening with a goodnight kiss so you both leave each other wanting more and more importantly eager to arrange that second date. If you can’t trust yourself to resist his charm go unshaven in the nether regions so that way you won’t be tempted to go any further than a kiss!

14. Watch your drink

Don’t drink excessively! It’s easy to drink faster and more than you would normally because of your nerves but try and pace yourself and if you do feel yourself getting more than tipsy, drink some water.

Also, if you don’t know your date well take your drink with you when you go to the toilets; with so many drinks being spiked in bars these days it’s better to be safe than sorry.

15. Tell a friend

Tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who with and let them know when you’ve arrived home safe.

16. Have fun

Finally, don’t forget to enjoy yourself and have fun!

Book Description
101 Ways to Get Her to Dump You After the First Date Jennifer A. Kilmer Guys, Is "let's just be friends" something you've heard one to many times? Have you ever gone on a first date and wondered what turned her off? Have you asked yourself, "what did I do wrong?" The answers to those questions can be found within these pages.

On first dates conversation can be uncomfortably slow at times. You don't know much about the person and you have no history with them so it can be difficult to find things to talk about. Add a little bit of nervousness and tension to the situation and things are downright awkward.

This article will give you a few ideas to help you start great conversations on a date with people that you may not know very well. But first, it's important to understand a few things about socializing on dates.

People like to talk about themselves! Most of us would rather talk about our life than listen to someone else talk about theirs. There is nothing wrong with that, it's just human nature. With that in mind the conversation starters I give you later in this article purposely focus the conversation on the other person.

It's a good idea to keep all conversation positive--never bring up negative things like death. It's also wise to avoid controversial subjects like religion, politics, and abortion until you get to know the person better.

Try desperately to keep away from all "canned" conversations like, "So, what do you do?" or, "Where are you from?" This stuff is important to know later on (maybe the second or third date) but it makes you seem dull and unoriginal... not the kind of image you want to portray on the first date.

Here are some good conversation starters that focus the conversation on the other person:

"Have any pets?"

This should start up a lively conversation because people LOVE their pets and LOVE talking about them even more. If they don't have any pets then just move on to something else. Or, you could ask, "Really? Why not?"

"Where did you get that _______?"

Ask them about a specific piece of jewelry or clothing. This conversation starter works particularly well with a really unique piece of jewelry or clothing... something they might be interested in telling the story behind.

"Have you ever ________?"

Ask about something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing. This is a good way to find out if you have common ground. If they do have that interest in common with you then you will have plenty to talk about. If they don't have that interest then just say, "Oh, I see." They will ask, "Why do ask, have you?" Then answer honestly but don't brag and don't go on about it for too long--just move onto something else.

"Do you like sports?"

Men AND women are passionate about sports and all enthusiasts enjoy talking about them. Who knows, you both may enjoy the same sport... why not buy tickets and go to a game for your next date?

"Have you ever been to ________?"

Ask them if they have ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, restaurant, or amusement park. If they HAVEN'T been there then this is a great way to get a second date... "You haven't been? You don't know what you are missing out on, we have GOT to go..." All of these conversation starters are centered around topics that have the potential for interesting and exciting conversation.

Although the nervousness of a first date can somewhat hamper the flow of your true and wonderful personality, there are a few signs that you'll notice when things are really going great. The conversation will flow. There will be a natural rhythm to the dialogue, each person contributing and taking turns in the spotlight. You'll enjoy listening to them tell you their tales, and you'll know that they are paying attention to what you have to say.

The sparks will be there. The flirtation will be high, natural and lighthearted. There will be more touching at the end of the date than there was in the beginning. Let there be laughter. Easy, natural humor, laughter, giggles, smiles and comic relief all add to the pleasure and ease of the date.

Ask yourself, 'what is it that would make you more comfortable”? What could they do for you that would make it go smoother for you? When you answer those questions, you can turn tables and do exactly that for them

o Give them a warm smile

o Make eye contact. Looking at someone directly in the eye gives the sense that you're open, honest, and paying attention.

o Make them feel welcome by reaching out to them, pulling them closer into your personal space.

o Compliment them on their appearance and accomplishments.

o Draw them into a conversation and then be interested in their responses.

o Be kind, polite, attentive to their needs, gracious, and chivalrous (for men)

o Be relaxed with them and let them follow suit.

Where to go?

A first date should be short and sweet. Since you're at the initial stages of discovering more about each other, a long date may be more than you can handle. It may become uncomfortable if you find that really don't have much in common, or that you've run out of things to talk about. If the date goes well, then a shorter date will leave you both wanting for more. You'll part with a pleasant feeling, looking forward for more contact.

Decide

o A full dinner may be too long and complicated. It may involve more of an expense than desired or expected.

o A movie or a concert doesn't allow to you speak with each other.

o All all-day skiing trip could be tortuous if the chemistry doesn't happen, and could give rise too all sorts of complications that could bring out the worst in one or both parties.

o A company party or family event has obvious pitfalls and traps

Instead first dates can take place at a coffee shop, over lunch, or at a comfortable bar over a drink. If you've determined that you both have dogs, you could've a first date walking them in the park and getting an ice cream from the vendor. A sporting event may be acceptable if both parties really have an interest in the event.

We had started this part with a quote, and let me end it with another quote:

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people, much more strongly than even the final surrender, because this kiss already has within it that surrender”

Let’s say during the last couple of weeks you have communicated with someone of interest via emails and several telephone conversations. There is obvious “phone chemistry” and there is a mutual interest in meeting each other. You both agree to meet in person -now for the moment of truth!

1. Visualize Success: Think about your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of your values, skills, talents, interests and “heart”. Leave all your negative thoughts at home.

2. Keep Your Expectations in Check: Don’t start imagining yourself at the alter with your date. Ask yourself these 3 questions: Do I like the person? Does the conversation flow easily with one another? Is there any kind of attraction? That’s it. If you answer yes to these questions, then be open to seeing the person again.

3. Dress Appropriately for a Date: Be presentable, neat, well-groomed and in casual dress clothes. Don’t come in a t-shirt and jeans for men and for women, do not come dressed to kill by looking overly sexy like you are going to a nightclub. Strive to look like the guy or girl next door and someone who would be proper to bring home to their parents.

4. Be Prepared to discuss Five General Topics: Prepare a list of topics such as current events; a subject of personal interest such as your volunteer activities, your work or outside work interests; any books you are reading; any movies you have seen lately and favorite sports to watch or participate in. Do not talk about your divorce or your last boyfriend. If you have children, you may talk about them briefly- do not bore your date with hours of stories about your kids.

5. Use Your Values as Your Guideposts: Know what’s most important to you and look to see if your date has similar feelings. Pay close attention to anything that makes you uncomfortable-your gut is usually right!

6. Pick a Quiet Place Where You Can Talk: Meeting at a coffee house or a bookstore is best. You may decide to take a stroll if it feels right. Don’t get involved in a meal since paying for the meal may become an issue. Also, don’t go to a show or a movie where it’s difficult to talk.

7. Plan on Spending One to Two Hours Max: The purpose is to see the person and to get a feel of a person. It’s best not to drag the date on. Besides, you need to leave some stuff to talk about during subsequent dates!

8. It is Best to Meet During the Day: It is more relaxed to meet in the late morning or afternoon during the weekend. A week day evening is the next best thing. Weekend evenings are too much pressure and feel like a serious date. You may be tempted to do stuff you will later regret!

9. Always Be Courteous and Kind to Your Date – Even if You are not Interested: You never know where you will see him or her again and who his or her friends are. Always treat people the way you wish to be treated

10. If all goes well: Women- be open to going out again. Studies have shown that women have gotten married to men that they were not really interested in at first. Men- trust your gut- if you are not attracted- be pleasant and be honest. Never say, “I’ll call” and not call!

By following the above tips you will most likely have a more pleasant first date experience. Hopefully, it will lead to future dates if you so desire!

Copyright 2006 Heartmind Connection, LLC

At least once a month one of my clients comes into my office upset about how her date went the previous weekend. Either she feels she did something wrong or worries that the guy didn't seem to be too interested in her. For the next 45 minutes we dissect the evening in question and I offer suggestions on how to salvage a second date or I congratulate her on discovering that he wasn't worth another chance.

Many times though the problem lies with my client not understanding the purpose of a first date. Too often women (and men) concentrate on such things has compatibility, attraction and past relationship history. All of these things are important but not for a first encounter. They are too in-depth for a casual get-to-know-you conversation. The only thing a woman really needs to be concerned with is conveying her femininity. This is the easiest and most reliable way toward making a good first impression. The three keys to a great first date are; wear a dress, smile often and allow him to speak first at the start of the date. Those three things will make him feel masculine and he will naturally find you more attractive because the first date is about being a girl, not revealing everything about yourself.

If those suggestions seem silly or sexist then I am afraid you don't understand men. Men like women in dresses because it radiates softness making a man want to hold and cuddle her. Smiling at him always makes him feel more attractive. Letting him speak first conveys respect which is every man's greatest desire, even more than being loved. Show him that you have the ability to be the woman he has fantasized about and he will beg you for another date Once you have gone out 3 or more times then you are free to let him get to know you has an individual. Since you have shown him that you are every bit a woman, he will be much more motivated to get to know you as a person.

These cheap date ideas are by no means second-rate. If you're a real romantic, you know that romantic living need not be expensive. Rather, it's simple, but a little involved as you'll see in these 21 cheap romantic date ideas.

What makes a date romantic is not how extravagant the price tag is but how much you reveal of yourself and how creatively you interact with one-another. Most free romantic date ideas are far more enjoyable than their pay counterparts. These cheap date ideas require something of your creative, and sometimes wild and risky side. One or two are downright outrageous. You'll enjoy!

Cheap Date Idea #1

Pay your local library a visit, and ask the librarian where you can read aloud. Choose an engaging mystery or steamy romance and spend the afternoon reading aloud to one-another.

Cheap Date Idea #2

Take two pads of lined paper, some nice pens and visit a quiet coffee shop. Order two cappuccinos, and write the stories of your lives. After one hour, read them aloud to one-another. Then ask lots of questions.

Cheap Date Idea #3

Take a digital camera, go to a downtown or busy area of town and make believe that you are paparazzi, gathering as many candid shots of interesting people as you can. Next date, see number four.

Cheap Date Idea #4

Upload your paparazzi shots which you took in number three to a computer either at home or at an internet cafe and write fantastic or crazy news stories incorporating the photos. Email them to a friend or post them on a free web site and send friends a link.

Cheap Date Idea #5

Take some nice watercolor paper or sketch pads with brushes, paints and pencils and go to a town square or park. Situate yourself at a table or bench and find something beautiful in your surrounding to paint or sketch. Sign and exchange your works and post them at home or work.

Cheap Date Idea #6

Here's a romantic date idea for when you don't know one-another well. Go to a cemetery where your relatives are buried, plant flowers and share with your sweetheart some stories about your family history.

Cheap Date Idea #7

Take bicycles or roller blades, pack a lunch and choose an easy trail ride or wander through some country roads. Stop often when you find something interesting to look at or just to rest and talk.

Cheap Date Idea #8

Visit an art museum, conservatory or botanical garden and pretend it's your first date. Unless of course it is your first date, then you won't need to pretend. Stop to sit on every bench, hold hands and kiss.

Cheap Date Idea #9

Get tickets to a local high school or college musical or drama performance. Ask the stars of the show for their autographs on your program. Afterward, go for a walk in the dark.

Cheap Date Idea #10

When in season, go to a strawberry patch or apple orchard and pick a few baskets of your own. Have a cup of coffee and enjoy some of your freshly-picked fruit. Finally, return home with your produce and create a special fresh-fruit-in-season dessert.

Cheap Date Idea #11

Visit an invalid or elderly person in your neighborhood, and plant some flowers in their yard or flower box for them. Stop in and share a cup of tea to brighten their day.

Cheap Date Idea #12

Stay Home! If you're married-with-children, send the kids out to a babysitter and just stay home. Order some Chinese take-out, leave the TV off and spend some really intimate time together.

Cheap Date Idea #13

Make a trip to the grocery store and pick up some creative pizza ingredients. Take your groceries home and assemble your masterpiece pizza together. Choose a CD of music from your youth, light candles and enjoy.

Cheap Date Idea #14

Check with your local parks and recreation for the schedule of summer dramatic and musical performances in the parks. Prepare a picnic supper, take in the concert, then go for a quiet stroll after the show.

Cheap Date Idea #15

Get your school district's community education program literature and choose a class on a subject about which you know absolutely nothing. Attend together. You'll be surprised at what you've been missing.

Cheap Date Idea #16

Check your yellow pages for the locations of two or three used book stores. Visit them together and unearth some literary treasures. Stop at a coffee shop and examine your finds over a cappuccino.

Cheap Date Idea #17

Pick up your Sunday newspaper and look up the local parade of new homes. Get in the car and visit three of the most expensive homes making believe that you're really rich. Be careful that you don't sign anything! Afterward, stop at a service station to pick up their 3 for $1 hot dog special and a Coke.

Cheap Date Idea #18

Call your local college or university and inquire about their film society's schedule. Take in a screening of a foreign or art film and join the discussion group afterward. You'll enjoy the departure from the usual theater and DVD fare.

Cheap Date Idea #19

Take your digital camera, choose 10 or 12 unusual or even bizarre locations and ask a stranger at each location to take a picture of the two of you. Go home and prepare an album of your day out or post them on a free website and send friends a link.

Cheap Date Idea #20

Go to a second hand clothing store together and select an outfit for each other without the other knowing what it is. Exchange outfits, and change into them. Go out for an inexpensive romantic dinner and find out how merciful (or not!) the other is.

Cheap Date Idea #21

Here's our simplest, yet most traditional and romantic cheap date idea. On a hot August night, take a stroll to your favorite ice cream shop. Get a cone or sundae and stroll down the city street to check out the shop windows.

Add your own, but mostly be together. Enjoy your dates!